What I've Learned About My Mom

“Making the decision to have a child - it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ” 

― Elizabeth Stone

My children are my world.  I spend every day entertaining, bathing, changing diapers, playing, trying to love them from head to toe.  They have taught me so much in the two and half years I've been a mother.  I've learned patience, humility, self-sacrifice, and how to find the humor in the most stressful of moments.  But they've shown me one thing that has been resonating especially loudly in my head lately.  If I love them this much, so much that my heart feels like it's overflowing, my mom felt the same way about me.  What a warm, comforting thought--that someone could feel the unconditional love for me that I feel for Nora and Ollie.  It's like I've tapped into a side of my mom I never knew existed, and I can't express how much more respect and admiration I have for her now.  She has always been my mommy and my rock, but I know now what that means on a much deeper level.

What I've Learned About My Mom

She's amazing, huh?

You were right.
Although I don't love admitting this, you were right.  Probably every single time we disagreed.  I know now you had my best interests at heart and were making choices out of love, and I was making choices because I was, well, sixteen and stupid.  Thank you for telling me no. Thank you for always pointing me in the right direction and being the parent I needed.

You worried.
You worried all the time.  When I was at school, when I spent the night at a friend's, when I ran to the store for twenty minutes.  I can't even (and don't want to) imagine yet what the worry is like on a first date.  Thank you for caring enough to wait up for me when I was out late.  Thank you for always checking in on me to see how I was doing.

You gave me everything you could.
I'm sorry.  I know I wasn't always appreciative of the things I had.  But I had so much.  I know now you and Dad gave us all that you could and more, like the trip to France I needed to take or the ridiculously expensive clothes I needed from Abercrombie.  Thank you for the times you went without so we didn't have to.

You hurt for me.
There's the obvious: you carried me for nine long months, full of backaches, swollen feet, and nausea.  You hurt an immeasurable amount to bring me into this world.  But you also hurt every time that I hurt.  By walking around with part of your heart outside your body, you felt some of the pain your children felt. Your heart ached for us when we were upset.  You felt awful when we were sick and you couldn't just fix it. You felt the sting when I came home crying with a broken heart.  With three grown children, you've felt a whole lot of hurt.  You've shared in all of my pain, and I can't say how thankful I am to have such an amazing mom in my corner during every punch I've taken.

You are still my biggest fan.
I have always had an amazing cheerleader.  You never missed an orchestra concert or a tennis match.  You always made me feel special.  You always supported me, even with my big, life-altering decisions.  And now, a "Hang in there, Mommy" text on a rough day does more than you know.  I have always felt loved and encouraged.  Thank you for the unwavering support.


I have big shoes to fill.

Thank you for devoting such a huge part of your life to raising the three of us.  Thank you for being a wonderful Gigi to my babies.  Thank you for teaching me so much.  And thank you to Nora and Ollie, for teaching me so much about you.

Love you to the sky and back a billion times,
Your Peachy Girl

Melodrama and Dreams

Not to complain or anything, but OH MY GOODNESS, what I wouldn't give to be living in the land of the healthy again.  Especially at bed time, I feel like I'm living in this really awful and immature soap opera:

Our story continues with Nora, who sweetly falls asleep at 7, appearing to be the sweet angel she was before she was taken hostage by the cold from hell.  But no!  She's WIDE AWAKE again at 8:15, with no intention of going back to sleep anytime soon.  "Muah ha ha!" she cries out, "That's just what Mom gets for trying to get me in bed early, even though that's the best thing for me right now because I'm sick and exhausted."  
Meanwhile, Oliver takes his day in stride, not showing many symptoms and being a generally happy baby, napping well and cracking the occasional smile.  That is, until his sister is finally asleep, at which point there is no way he could possibly ever sleep because his nose is sooo stuffy and his cough is sooo unbearable...

Am I being melodramatic?  I'm being melodramatic.  These sleepless nights will do that to you.  Thankfully, these rough weeks are few are far between, but man, when they come around...

With all of the meltdowns and the boogers I've been dealing with, I need to spend some time zoned out, dreaming about a few things that sound absolutely wonderful right about now.

1.  Reading Still Life With Bread Crumbs by Anna Quindlen. I think I need to start making some time in my day to just sit and read a book.  I often complain about how I never have any time to read, when in fact I'm letting a lot of time just mosey on past me when I'm on Facebook or Pinterest.  No more excuses!  If I have to get up a little earlier to enjoy my book and my coffee, so be it.  And I think I'll start with this book--something new from an author I've never read before, I'll let you know how it goes!













2. Taking a bubble bath. Which wouldn't be too hard, except that we don't have a tub... The person who lived in our house before us was disabled, so they installed a roll-in shower.  Perfect for someone in a wheelchair, not so perfect for two little kids or a mom who needs a break for twenty minutes.

3. Going to Disneyworld.  Who doesn't dream about going to the happiest place on the earth??  I love everything about Disneyworld, and am beyond excited for the first time we get to take the babies there.  Nothing like seeing a little girl's eyes light up when she meets Cinderella. :)

[And on that note, little man has finally dozed off.  Sweet dreams!]

Lazy Monday

Phew, we survived the weekend with an incredibly miserable two year old.  Thankfully, she seems to be on the mend, but she's still so sleepy and just not her usual happy self.  I didn't want to take her anywhere yesterday, so we stayed home from work to have a lazy, easy day.

[Side note: I had planned on at least part of this laziness occurring on Sunday and I was going to post Andy Samberg's video Lazy Sunday and it was going to be perfect.  Lazy Monday isn't nearly as perfect, but  I'm still going to post the video because it ignited my undying love for Andy. <3

Ok, back to our day now...]

We started our lazy day off by watching Jake and the Neverland Pirates, reading blogs and eating cinnamon rolls for far too long.  Then, a small miracle happened: both children were bathed without a single tear being shed.  If this had been the only accomplishment for the day, I would have been tickled pink.  But the real highlight of our day was baking cupcakes.  Nora's sweet, tired face complete lit up when I told her we could even make the frosting pink.  She did a pretty awesome job with the sprinkles, didn't she? :)

["I love those cupcakes like McAdams loves Gosling..."]

She started fading pretty quickly after we cleaned up our mess, so we returned to being lazy, alternating between reading books and watching Veggie Tales.  She finally couldn't do anymore and fell asleep on the floor watching basketball with TK.  Poor thing couldn't even make it through our lazy day. :(. I'm praying she gets better very soon, I don't know how much longer I can be without my wild child!

This Week's Bests

Seriously, sick babies are no fun at all.  Nora woke up Friday with this awful cough, and she's been getting worse ever since.  She had a fever all day yesterday, and then Taylor was up with her all night because her cough just wouldn't let up.  To top it all off, Ollie woke up with a stuffy nose and a little cough this morning.  :(  I'm praying that Nora gets better soon and that Ollie doesn't get any worse!

Despite everybody being sick, our week wasn't all that bad.  This week's bests were:

Operation Lose This Baby Weight Update:  I lost 2.8 lbs this week! 8.6% of the way to my goal. :) It was so nice to see some hard work paying off, and it was just what I needed to see to keep my motivation up.  Last week, I wrote up a plan to lose the weight (here), but the only part I stuck to was tracking my calories with My Fitness Pal.  Hopefully, this week I'll be able to fit in some exercise, I don't know about the diet coke though (It's just sooo good!)...

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: I LOVE Jimmy Fallon.  I haven't watched The Tonight Show in years, mostly because I'm an old lady who loves going to bed, but Taylor and I have watched every episode on Hulu since Jimmy started hosting last Monday and I love love love it.  Especially Will Smith talking about curling ("That's a sport that I really think I could add something to!") and Bono's impromptu motivational speech about a coffee mug  ("It can be full of love, or bad thoughts.").  And how great is it that it's on Hulu?  Now this old lady can still watch late night without having to sacrifice my sleep. :)

Ollie's Cheeks: How great are these cheeks?? They are so fat and droopy, I could just kiss them all day long.

P.S. This is Nora when she was a month old, them chubby cheeks must run in the family!

Peace and Quiet

Nora is sick and fell asleep on the way home from the grocery store.  Taylor is out coaching a basketball game.  So my wild Friday night?? Hanging out with this happy dude. :)

Is he not the cutest?!

Actually, Ollie fell asleep 5 minutes after I took this picture, so here I sit, eating my luxurious dinner of chicken nuggets and diet coke.  This is the probably the best way for me to be spending my night, though.  Some much needed peace and quiet and mindless Hulu-watching after a long week.  Some time to unwind and not get up for diaper changes or snacks or work.  It's funny how things change: a few years ago this would have been the most boring thing in the world.  But now, what a luxury an hour by myself is! :) Okay, no more talking, I have lots of Vampire Diaries to catch up on !

One of Those Days...

Yesterday was one of those days. Where nothing was particularly bad, nothing went noticeably wrong, but by the end of the day, I was beyond done.

In short, Nora had the most major case of selective deafness, and Oliver was crankier than usual because he was having a hard time pooping (the struggle is real for this one-month-old).  I must have repeated myself a billion times, and it nearly drove me crazy.  "Nora, please don't throw your cup on the ground...  Please pick up your cup... Nora, your cup is still on the floor..."

It was like Nora was playing this twisted game with me called "What Can I Get Away With Before Mommy Starts Ripping Her Hair Out?"  There were dish towels thrown in the trash, half eaten cinnamon rolls hidden in drawers and under beds, and Ollie was woken up multiple times, usually just after I had coaxed him to sleep.  I hung in there pretty well for most of the day, but by the time dinner came around, I wanted nothing more than to hide in my room and curl up under my blanket with some Ben & Jerry's.

The craziness lasted all the way up until bedtime.  Taylor had to work late and had just gotten home.  Nora and I gave him good night kisses and trudged into her room, both completely worn out. We laid down.  She looked at me, yawned the biggest yawn, and asked me to read her her Thomas the Tank Engine book.  We said our prayers, and closed our eyes. Then, my little girl, who had worn my patience down to nothing just minutes earlier, touched my cheek, kissed my forehead and told me she loved me most.  Instantly, tears ran down my face and the stress from the day slid off my shoulders.  It was the most innocent reminder that I so desperately needed:  This day was done.  The craziness was all over.  We both had a rough day, but she was still my sweet Nora, and she still loved her Mommy most.

It may have been "one of those days," but thankfully, that's all it was...one day. I think this is the most wonderful part of being a mother: no matter how frustrated or upset or impatient I get, no matter how drained I feel, it only takes a second, a kiss on the forehead, to make my heart completely full again.

Operation: Lose This Baby Weight!

Alright, the time has come!

I waited until yesterday to weigh myself.  I didn't want to see a number on the scale that I wouldn't be happy with and wouldn't have the ability to do anything about.  But Oliver is four weeks old now and my body feels ready for some diet and (light) exercise, so I'm ready to tackle this baby weight..  I'm not thrilled about sharing this information with who-knows-how-many people, but I'm hoping that it will provide some much needed accountability.  Without further ado, here's the numbers...

Final weigh-in before Oliver: 192.9 lbs. (uggghhh)
4 weeks post pregnancy weight: 162.4
Weight loss so far: 30.5 lbs (yay!)
Pounds to go: 32.4 (That's to get to my goal, 130.  My pre-pregnancy weight was 140, so I technically only have 22.4 lbs of baby weight to lose ;)

My ideal weight is 125 lbs, but I had a really difficult time getting to that point after I had Nora, so my official goal weight is 130. I'm almost half-way there!  Ideally I'll lose 1.5-2 lbs a week, so hopefully in 4-5 months I'll be rocking my skinny jeans again. :)  My plan to get there is to:

• Use My Fitness Pal to track my calories and exercise.  When I lost my baby weight after I had Nora, I tracked religiously with Weight Watchers and it worked like a charm.  I'm going to try MFP first (it's free, but I would have to pay for WW).  The only downside with MFP is that there isn't a built in option for nursing moms, so a lot of the analysis won't be correct. The upside?  Way more information, like how much fat, protein, sodium, and cholesterol I'm taking in.
• Try DailyBurn.com for working out.  I see the Daily Burn ads on Hulu all of the time, and since I would much rather do a guided workout than run on the treadmill, I think this will be great for me.  Plus, I love that there are so many different options, like yoga, zumba and cardio.
• Stop drinking Diet Coke.  This is not going to be easy, I am definitely a Diet Coke junkie, but I know there is absolutely nothing beneficial about drinking diet soda.  I don't plan on giving up my morning coffee, but after I'm done with that morning pick-me-up, just water for me! 
• Be patient!  This may be even harder than no diet coke. :/  I am generally a very impatient person, but I need to remind myself that I didn't put this extra weight on overnight, it sure won't come off overnight either.  

I'm going to do my best to stick to these four things for the next two weeks, and then I'll update on how it's going and any changes to the plan.  Here's to getting rid of my spare tire! :)